Starting tomorrow I'm faced with a difficulty that most everyone I know wishes they could have. Tomorrow officially starts my summer vacation. Until the beginning of August I don't have to work, save a 3 week summer school session for a couple hours a day. Its this chunk of vacation that usually sends eyes rolling and sarcastic comments flowing whenever I describe my job as a teacher as difficult. Then I get defensive and start detailing my job blah blah blah. That's not what this is about. What this is about is the question: Why would anyone else I know be basking in the glow of two months paid vacation, and I'm looking at it with worry?
As Ive become more self aware, Ive realized one of my biggest enemies is idle time. Don't get me wrong, I'm taking off time over work time faster than anyone you know, but the prospect of two months off feels more like retirement to me than vacation. I need things in my life to occupy my brain so my brain doesn't start looking for entertainment in the places its always looked for it before, namely food and all around misery. Ive been rather successful as of late, running, self reflection, work, the "stress" of the end of a school year has kept me sufficiently busy in my waking hours, but a large part of that is going away.
I'm completely pumped about my marathon training and continuing to loose weight, but I can only do that for so long each day. Even if I stretch it out to a couple hours a day, its still only a couple hours a day. I guess my worry comes from wondering how I will fill the other hours, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared of falling into old habits.
But lemons into lemonade is sort of my new thing, so I'm going to try to be optimistic about actually having to make myself busy/happy/fulfilled without a built in system. And maybe that's the whole key to this. Ive been a master my whole life of looking to "things" to be my savior, to "fix" me, rather than choosing to do it consciously myself. So even though I approach summer with some apprehension, maybe Ill find that I do like having 2 months off as much as everyone else. Or maybe I'm just crazy.
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Hey Will,
ReplyDeleteI have totally been having those same issues being laid off. But now I'm freakin' loving it. It is a LOT harder to eat right in this free-form life, both in the types of things and also the timing. But, I am able to go to the gym (Bally's) in the middle of the day when it's not crowded.
One week was a big panic week, but most have been flying by quickly!
If you need some ideas on activities, check out Bayou City Outdoors. I've been in it for 6 years and there are LOTS of activities. Pretty much anything you can think of we've done at some point, and way more things than anyone could! www.bayoucityoutdoors.com
Plus, there are a LOT of us laid off folks to keep you entertained during the weekdays :-)
Wahoo!
Anna
Hey, you're self-aware...like Skynet!
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